There’s Only One Thing That Gives You Significance


I’ve spent a lot of my life chasing this idea of being significant.

For a long time, I didn’t even know that was what I was chasing.

All I knew was that I was missing something. I felt this hole in myself, in my life that needed filling with something.

When I accomplished something or achieved a goal, for myself or someone else, I felt that hole close a little. It didn’t feel so empty anymore.

When I was alone or felt like I was on the outside looking in, I felt the empty space in that hole. I sank into the nothingness that existed there, hoping to find a way out or that at least no one would see that emptiness inside of me.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve thought a lot about what gives me value. I’ve felt valued in relationships and communities. I’ve also felt worthless and lost in many different spaces and moments.

Time and time again, it always seemed to come back to the experience of being seen or valued by those around me. Often this was in my work or my friendships. I wouldn’t expect a stranger on the street to see me as more than just another stranger.

The hardest times always came from me perceiving that people didn’t value me, intentionally or otherwise.

That was the hardest feeling.

But what I realized through fighting through those moments is that you are the only one who will ever be able to truly see you.

We are the only ones we need to validate our significance in the world.

We get to define and validate our value and significance. We don’t have to rely on others for that, and we probably shouldn’t.

It’s a hard world out there, but you can get through it, happily and in one piece, if you believe in yourself.