Stop. Give Yourself 30 Minutes To Feel It. Then Move On With Your Life.
Failure is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you have to carry it with you.
There’s really nothing else you can say about it.
Yes, it’s good for learning and there’s really no way to avoid failure. It’s an intrinsic part of life, of growing and becoming a decent human being.
But if you’re anything like me, failure doesn’t just become a happy life lesson that guides future decisions.
It sticks with you.
In the back of your mind, failure lingers and reminds you that you didn’t get something right. It lets you know that you’re not as good as you thought/hoped you were and it won’t let you forget it.
This is where failure can really suck.
My failures used to gnaw at me for days. They would stay in mind my, replaying themselves over and over and over and over…
It was awful. I would fall into dark spirals and become unproductive even over things that really don’t matter in the big picture. Most of those failures I can’t even remember today.
What allowed me to break free from those cycles was taking the time to feel my failure and then moving on. I would give myself 30 minutes to lean into the feeling of failing. I would let myself go down as dark as I wanted/needed to, but after that, I was done. When my 30 minutes were up, that was it. I would pick myself up and move on.
I might still have to work to overcome the consequences of failure, but emotionally I was done being hard on myself.
It was not an easy process to adopt.
Like at all.
I’m still not perfect at it, but over time and with some more perspective from life, I’ve been able to be more empathetic with myself and accept my failures as part of life.
Because in the end, it’s not about talent or hard work.
It’s about perseverance.